An Encounter
by Christa Brunori LincsMag Writer.
Date: 01 April 2010
Found myself at an abrupt halt. My feet, unable to move. Standing in the doorway, a sudden dilemma confronted me.
My eyes fixed upon a daunting mountain of unfolded laundry atop my bed.
The same heap that accumulated days ago. Before that moment, I had devoted this day to the glorious joys of housework and with every intention, meant to carry out my obligation.
An annoying little voice, nagged and nagged to move forward... stay focused... be responsible. The dilemma was not whether the work would get done, rather I could continue to do so on this beautiful, sun shining day.
Lingering between the door jams separating my room from the back deck, the rays of warmth consumed my chest. Giving a much-needed relief to the cold heart I had felt burdened by in recent life situations. It felt as though the sun's rays were extensions of its core, grabbing a hold and pulling me near.
Wanting desperately to give in to the allure and become a sun worshiper. I could feel the rejuvenation of life seeping through my skin, all the while lifting my mood. The heel of my foot lifted from the ground, toes quick to follow and took a step back.
Sitting on the edge of the weathered steps, back against the splintered rail, I found myself level with the bumblebee swarmed, rosemary bush. The lack of vibrant colour reminded me of my negligence, having deprived it of adequate water throughout the winter’s harsh season.
Yet, somehow, beautiful blue buds have blossomed, providing the bees with the necessary means for their survival.
With no interest in me, they went about their ways. Wish I could say the same of the flies. Curiosity must get the better of them, as one had just landed on my notebook.
We must have resembled each other, both bug-eyed and battling a stare down. With the exception of a soft buzzing noise surrounding us, silence and a mutual curiosity was all that occurred.
It must have had a short attention span due to the fact it only stayed for a mere twenty seconds. But I wasn't left alone for long.
A Little Fellow
A few steps below, the smallest of lizards emerged from the cracks, and joined me in the basking of the suns warmth.
The little fellow stayed awhile longer than my previous companion. Now peering at it, I watched it perform an unusual movement.
Somewhat similar to the motion of a push-up. All four feet evenly set apart, lifting and falling, lifting and falling. The pattern was repeated for quite some time. I wondered if it was a sort of mating call or a way of boasting in front of another male.
Both possibilities seemed perfectly reasonable, but my mind decided the latter option is what it must be. Without any scientific proof or knowledge on the reptile, this is merely just a misconceived idea. But I rather like the idea.
Seemed to me like it would be fairly accurate, that is, if compared to the human male species.
Just as the heat of the sun tempted my return to the indoors, the wind blended with, creating a perfect combination and seduction. Convinced, I stayed a little longer.
When confronted earlier, with moving a step forward or a step backward, the choice made felt foolish.
I had opted to disregard my responsibilities. Yet, sat there, I became aware that having taken a step back, gave way of clarity for moving onward.
In The Making
What is the meaning of one's foundation?
The core of our truth?
Falling into the depths of our soul can be an endless journey.
In the process, do we ever really know, as we continue to grow through this funny little thing called, Life?
Understanding our existence can consume our ways, blinding what is before us. A simplicity.
With every step taken, our history is in the making. However, we rarely watch where our feet are going. As if we're simply strolling along, hardly noticing the ground. It seems generalized, as being a 'whole' object, yet it consists of millions of individual grains of dirt. Are we not similar to the earth beneath our feet?
The core of our truth lays not in the hands of others or a belief. It rests in the trust of our own heart. A truth in our thoughts. Somewhere in between the journey and discovery, mass confusion tempts to overwhelm. What feels out of our hands, in truth, lays in the palm of each. Weighing, pulling, stretching us thin. Do we dare fight what proves inevitable?
Or shall that be an answer?
We find strength within our weaknesses. Therefore, no need of becoming victim to its definition is needed. We cannot always control our level of endured strength when weakness steals.
But we feel. And where there is a lack of recognized strength, another sighting occurs. Unlikely a guarantee of pretty, but we are given an opportunity to see within ourselves, what is intentionally overlooked.
